Vow writing: How to write amazing wedding vows easily!
Written by Melbourne celebrant, www.zenalythgocelebrant.com
Writing wedding vows is something that a lot of people find intimidating!
Most couples opt to write something personalised these days rather than using the traditional vows. Though, ‘for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health’ encompasses the key themes most people want to express to each other; it is nice to say it in your own words.
But how do you say everything you want to say about your partner on a blank piece of paper; for most people it doesn’t just pour out of them.
I Do Drive Thru’s Top Tips On Vow Writing
Do your research!
And to make it an even more meaningful and enjoyable process, start your vow writing research together!
If you google ‘wedding vows’ endless examples come up! And looking at other vows is valuable for a lot of reasons.
Firstly, it shows you how wedding vows are formatted and you can copy this basic format if you are unsure how to go about it.
It shows you that wedding vows don’t need to be poetry, they should be simple words that are easy for you to say and sound like how you speak.
When looking at other wedding vow examples, copy and paste any sentences, or themes, that you really like to a blank document to start building your own vows.
As you build your vows from the examples, lots of your own ideas will come up and you can add them in too.
Doing vow writing research together is a great way for you and your partner to show each other the types of things you would like to share in your vows.
This helps the wedding vows to naturally match up a bit more on the day.
The nice side effect of starting your vows together, is that you will always end up with loads of things written down and too much content than you can share in your vows!
So that’s a great feeling BECAUSE it shows you what a full and aligned relationship you share; which is such a nice thing to talk about as you transition that relationship into marriage.
Taking the time to talk about, and celebrate, the values that underpin your relationship is not something many of us take the time to do often.
After all the research and those lovely chats, I am sure you have plenty of options of what to say.
Now it is time to cut it down.
Some couples like to make a little rough plan together and then go off to write their vows separately.
For example: The same first line
Second line, what you like about each other
Third line, how your partner supports you
Fourth line, how you promise to show up for them
Fifth line, something silly and self-deprecating about your dynamic
Sixth line, goals for the future
Finish with the same line.
Others just go off and write them separately at this point.
How long should your wedding vows be?
As a rule you don’t really want them to be too long; usually one minute or 8- 10 lines.
This is mostly because having wedding vows that feel like an essay in front of you can feel intimidating to get out when you are nervous.
BUT to be honest, this is your chance to say everything you want to say to your partner. AND everyone who is there with you will happily listen as long as those wedding vows take to share.
If sharing publicly isn’t your thing, write something simple you can both repeat to each other; it may only be one sentence and keep the rest for a private moment.
You might like to write each other a letter and share it with each other that evening.
If you like writing you may even continue writing each other a letter every year on your anniversary.
SO IN SUMMARY:
Read through a bunch of examples and highlight sentences that you connect with.
· Add your own ideas and notes along the way.
· When you think you have enough content go back through and
choose the top 8-10 themes you want to say to your partner
· Use language that sounds like you & will be easy for you to say on the day
This site really simplified it as below:
1. Read dozens of vow examples for inspiration. ...
2. Agree on format and tone with your fiance. ...
3. Jot down notes about your relationship. ...
4. Come up with one or two, or many, promises. ...
5. Write it all out. ...
6. Banish clichés. ...
7. Take out anything too cryptic or embarrassing. ...
8. Shorten your vows to one to two minutes, max. (max 8 lines)